peitience is a virtue

Last week I couldn’t wait to come back to school. I wanted to immerse and occupy myself with tasks to keep my mind off of things. I thought that was the best solution for me, but I was so wrong. 

Much of this past week was spent feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and ill. I came back to two exams and 4 meetings by Wednesday. Luckily, my professors were more than understanding so on exam will be prorated and I get a conflict for the other. But even with that it’s been difficult to play catch up with school when all I want to do is lay on my couch watching Law and Order forever. The meetings I thought would be like the chocolate syrup on top of an ice cream sundae…except that the pump exploded and everything ended up covered in chocolate syrup; it was a big mess. 

After an enlightening conversation/catch-up with one of my roomies from freshman year (here’s to you, Jen!), I realized that I do need to focus on myself. People have been saying that all week and I kept saying that I’m fine and telling myself that I could do it. When I had dinner with Jen on Thursday at the NEWLYREOPENEDZA’S all the feelings of feeling overwhelmed came out. That’s when I realized I couldn’t wait to see how long I could hold out. I needed to take action. 

I’m dropping (almost)everything extracurricular. I already talked to MAASU last week and I hope to be back in a few weeks. I know I shouldn’t set a deadline for stuff like when I should feel better, but I miss MAASU. However, Jen said something that was so true. She said that she knows I’m responsible and that if I push myself I could probably get everything done, but there is no need to push myself right now. She’s right and thus I can’t do MAASU right now. That means I can’t do TASC either. 

I couldn’t help but cry as I told the execs that I wouldn’t be able to do TASC for awhile. That means no meetings and minor events. None whatsoever. This is going to be so tough. As I told the execs- I really wish I didn’t have to make this decision. I love TASC and I can’t imagine not doing it. They were the sweetest, and almost shamed me into feeling bad for asking for a break. hahaha 

As for AAA fashion show, I’m not dropping that. It’s only a week away anyways, and I am admittedly very excited to perform a Taiwanese aborigine dance and emcee the show. :) 

Now the last big thing is Campus Conversations. It’s inspiring and is what I feel like would be the perfect conclusion to my college career. Start off small with TASC, build to APA, and then end with what will hopefully be a campus climate-changing movement. I just worry I won’t be able to put in the same dedication and passion as everybody else. I need to think more on this. Well, I have until 8pm tomorrow.